Why is it…
… that every time I get all angsty about relationship issues and my severe lack at figuring out what it takes to actually deserve that special someone in your life…
… I end up reading a webcomic? And not just any webcomic, but a semi-serious, semi-comedic one about slightly kooky characters and their interactions with one another.
I’m talking about Questionable Content.
It’s a webcomic that I picked up early this year, but I kinda stopped after a month or so. I don’t particularly get most of the indie-rock references the comic creator uses, but hey, at least I heard about the band named Mogwai before their gig here a couple of months back thanks to QC.
I’m currently reading through April’s strips and leading man aka all-round good guy has just gotten attached to one of the main female characters. It’s like a replay of Ross and Rachel from Friends, except less preppy and more emo.
Anyway, I was on MSN last night and a good friend from CSA and I discussed my favourite topic… me. Basically, what I got out of it was I’m an arrogant prick that is well, way too focussed on my own attempt at happiness and not on doing what’s right and living out to the best that God has made me to be. Of course, this is totally off tangent to what she was really trying to drum into my head, but my mind works that way, unfortunately.
Well, whatever it is, it’s clear to me that God needs me to pray about my relationship angst. And not just the whole “conversation with my friend God” kinda prayer that I’ve been doing for most of my life… but the whole “pray till you get His answer” kinda thing. I think I stopped doing the latter because it always came back with “God says ‘No’”.
I’d love to promise to make all these changes I’m suggesting. After all, most people would be infinitely happier with a less arrogant but more self-confident me. So why do I suddenly feel more vulnerable than ever at the thought?
EDIT: Heh… a new ‘Fear’ post out of nowhere. Haven’t had the time to get all moody in months. Women have ‘that time of the month’. I get all emo this time each semester. Haha.
October 5th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
You know, just for the record, I’ve never found you to be arrogant. ^^
Whenever I get angsty about relationship stuff, I go get myself a nice plant to care for. 80 species/hybrids of carnivorous plants now and counting. Ironically, I think I’d be a happier person if I was “way too focussed on my own attempt at happiness and not on doing what’s right and living out to the best that God has made me to be”.
October 6th, 2006 at 1:12 am
It’s not like you’re a jerk, and even then, there are girls out there who like jerks. And I don’t think you need to do anything to “deserve that special someone in your life”.
Maybe there’s something more important that you need to be doing right now that God wants you to do, or maybe you should be doing stuff that you can’t really do when you’re with someone. Maybe right now, being with someone is not something you’ll be most happy with, but something else. Maybe God hasn’t been saying no, maybe you’re misreading his signs… (unless you talk directly to him and you clearly hear him say no, and then this is where I step back and want to have our friendship contract reviewed).
You can’t possibly be more arrogant than me, but I do think you’re stubborn.
Last I recall anyway. But who am I to call anyone the kettle? The thing is, don’t let yourself get down. Your arrogance is a by-product of your self-confidence. Realise all you have control over is what you do. Everything else isn’t, whether or not it is in God’s plan. Do what you can, and if it doesn’t work out, know that your efforts in itself are enough. Seriously, you can’t figure out everything. Even I can’t figure it out, what makes you think you can? 
October 6th, 2006 at 9:55 am
Guys, I appreciate the comments, I really do. Just remember that you’ve not met me for a while… and well, maybe I’ve changed. But thanks for your affirmation and reassurance.
October 6th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
Yup yup, everyone changes…and we may not have met up for some time, but your personality does show through in your blog, so if that reflects what you’re truely thinking, then I’m sure the ‘non-arrogance’ bit still stands. ^^
October 13th, 2006 at 4:30 am
Well, you couldn’t have changed much. There are just some things that are very difficult to change in a person. But maybe you’re right. I just have faith that Peter is still good old Peter.