…that clubbing with guys is more fun than clubbing with girls.

No, I’m not gonna do a Brokeback anytime soon, but when I was at O Bar at Robertson Walk last night, I didn’t enjoy myself as much as I normally do when I hang out with Greg and whoever else might be out.

But let’s start from the very beginning. The snap decision to go out clubbing was brought upon by the fact that we had finally stepped down as the 15th Ex-Co of NTU CSA. After over a year, the term of servant leadership was complete and we wanted to celebrate it. So with chaplain in tow, some twelve of us, including the freshmen from this year’s FOC went out to have a bit of clean enjoyment.

I don’t recall why we scrapped our plans to visit the Ministry of Sound (I’m not stoned… I just wasn’t there when the decision was made), but we soon found ourselves straddling Dbl O and O Bar. That is, until we realised that the freshmen among us were underaged. So the 15th left Dbl O and spent the rest of the night dancing away at O Bar.

It was fun until the wrong crowd started coming in. Seeing a bunch of seven young girls dancing together (only Bowo, Greg, Iggy, Jivan and myself were on the dance floor - James and Wesley were more or less stuck at the bar counter) a couple of guys we didn’t know thought they’d move in for some action. I was slow in recognising this, but after one of them started to grind his hips against our girls, the fun ended in my head and I went into ‘bodyguard’ mode. It was satisfying, to say the least, how my presence was a deterrent to others. I was a turn off and proud of it. Heh.

There was a Caucasian guy that pretended to be drunk (he was probably just high, but I could see that he still had his limited mental faculties) who tried to create a scene among our group, but to no avail, even though he did literally crash into one of the girls (intentionally or otherwise, I’ll never know). He later went on to remove his shirt with another group, resulting in security action, so I suppose he must have just been plain nuts.

In spite of all that, I’m personally thankful that the day ended without any major incident and that everyone, even me, had our share of fun. As James, Greg and I shared outside O Bar, it was funny how, on the last day of our term of service that we finally got our wish to organise a ‘CSA Mambo Nite’ out.

To those from the 15th who went and who will probably never read this *LOL* and to the freshmen who came with us on the spur of the moment… thank you for a great night.

Ever since the exams ended, I’ve never been busier. Of course, many (if not all) of the things I was/am involved in was of my own making, but nonetheless, the non-stop “holiday” workload is starting to get to me.

The day after the last paper over a week ago, I gathered the 15th Ex-Co and our predecessors to the Retreat Centre at St. Teresa’s Church for an overnight session to talk about the future of the CSA in NTU. I guess I was a little too ambitious, for there was way too much to do and too little time to do it in. I do hope, however, that we do get something out of the time we spent. Something more than just pictures, I guess.

Come last Thursday, it was the night of the CSA Christmas Party, and once again, it meant lots of preparations, lots of mind-wracking and essentially lots of necessary stresses. The good thing is, there were generally more good reviews than bad ones, so I dare say we had a successful time. And hey, getting runner-up in the Best-Dressed competition was the icing on the cake.

Nowadays I’m busy with Musical preparations, but there’s also the Freshmen Orientation Camp and the NTU Catholic Awareness Week that I’m overseeing. And that’s just in school, not to mention all the stuff going on outside campus.

Often, I feel there’s no reason for my busy-ness. Often I wanna just give it all up and just slack, like all of my friends who have no ECAs do. But I know there’s always a pay-off for everything that I do, and whether or not I experience it depends on how much of myself I’ve invested.

Just keep myself and my Ex-Co in prayer, yeah?

Well, it’s the end of the recess week and indeed, there’s been so many things to blog about.

I finally managed to find time to watch two DVDs that Direcow lent me. I remember feeling kinda stupid when I didn’t appreciate the ending of Pulp Fiction at first, then upon reading a couple of reviews, realise how the whole theme of the movie just went way over my head. Felt really stupid for a long time later.

The other movie, and this one I enjoyed tremendously, was the Al Pacino vehicle Scarface. I hadn’t realised that while this was hailed as being one of the best crime movies of the past century, that the titular character wasn’t Mafia. It was kinda interesting to see organised crime from a non-Italian, non-Japanese, non-Chinese point of view. Having not seen the Godfather, I hereby claim this as the best movie for men. It’s a classic in every way.

Wednesday was the third time the 15th CSA Ex-Co met up and as much as I didn’t want to compare, it was rather disappointing to see that we weren’t as close-knit as the 13th. I’m sure the 15th had good reasons, but the 13th struck me as being able to form bonds among ourselves instantly, which kinda “spoilt the market” for future Ex-Cos. I had suggested that the 15th meet up for lunch before our meeting, but only five showed up. Of course, I am to blame for coming late as well… but I just felt the difference acutely that we weren’t meeting as a big group outside of our scheduled meetings. It was an experience that repeated itself on Friday, when we attended the Commissioning Mass of the 57th NUS CSS Ex-Co. Two years ago, the 13th showed up in full force, and two years later, there were only four members of the 15th.

But nostalgic ranting aside, I am very proud of the 15th for having so much initiative. Each and every one of them is truly a leader in their own right and both I and my Vice-President have often felt redundant because they’re just so efficient. I have no doubt that the bonds will form over time and that the 13th was unique, the proverbial “exception to the rule” in this aspect.

This afternoon, the Confirmation 2 catechism group visited St Theresa’s Home in Upper Thomson for the sixth and last time. And God has truly blessed our time there. The teens had loads of fun putting up a performance for the old folks and even though they (the senior citizens) didn’t seem to be able to show their appreciation, there was no doubt that many of them enjoyed themselves.

Okay, I can’t stand it any longer.

I am in love, with someone who loves me. And tonight, I’ve decided that it’s for real. After more than a decade, I’m finally attached, though in a way I personally never considered.

She’s the most perfect person I’ve ever met, and we click in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else. There’s not a moment that goes by where I don’t think of her, and I’m glad it’s reciprocated.

I’d create a whole new category for her… but I don’t think words do her justice.

What a way to bring my 22nd year of life to a close.

Tanjoubi Omedetou to me!

Where did the time go? Where did my innocence go? (Okay, don’t answer that question) Around this time two years ago, despite being a part of the 13th Ex-Co, I hardly had anything purposeful on my mind. A quick look back at my posts from August 2003 sees me more concerned about the upcoming Star Trek 2nd Ed CCG tournament and my 21st birthday rather than anything of crucial importance.

Today I find myself back in the Ex-Co, albeit a different position, but all of a sudden, I’m stressed because my quizzes are next week and there’s so much to take in. I’m stressed because the mid-semester recess is coming up and plans to spend them well are hardly forthcoming. I’m stressed because the 15th Ex-Co seems burnt out just two weeks into our term.

When I last blogged about the 15th, we had just come fresh from our Day of Recollection at San Damiano Friary. We were enthusiastic, excited and ready to move headlong into our various ministries. It had seemed like everything was in place to effect change and renewal within the CSA. Two weeks later and I’ll admit that the fire’s still there, somewhere… but the drive and determination now lie hidden under several things - a lack of clearer direction, a lack of ground support and (perhaps something I felt most acutely) a lack of general experience.

But, I get ahead of myself, of course.

click to enlarge

That’s us last Wednesday after our Investiture Mass. The new 15th Ex-Co. I’m standing on the right of Archbishop Nicholas Chia, the closest I’ve ever gotten to the man, I believe.

That was the day we officially announced our theme of “Christ, Our Light”, based on the Gospel passage from John 8:12, and our mission to be “lights” for NTU and for all. For just as light reaches out to everything in sight, discriminating nothing, we too should be inclusive and open to everyone, spreading our faith to all.

It seemed so logical, so sensible to me, and I believe, to my Ex-Co. But I suppose it was foolish of us to think that everyone would see it our way. In the end, people were questioning how we planned to fulfill this mission. People demanded concrete steps. I’ve never been one for clear, realistic direction, unfortunately, and I rather not think of the chore of doing it anyway.

Being President was never going to be easy, I always knew that. I just didn’t think it’d be this rough so early in the term.

That being said, however, I’m not going to go all bitter and bitch and moan further, like I’m wont to do. I’m beginning a prayer routine for myself that hopefully will allow me to be more in tune with what the Lord wants.

aka 15th Ex-Co update Week #1.

Well, it is week #1, even though we only became the 15th Ex-Co last Wednesday night.

This past Saturday was the Ex-Co Day of Recollection, a time-honoured annual tradition that sees the outgoing Ex-Co (in our case the 14th) preparing a day of prayer, food and fellowship to give the incoming Ex-Co (i.e. us) a chance to bond with one another and to be ready for their year-long service as members of the CSA Executive Committee.

The day really began with lunch at Jurong Point. I was glad that most of my Ex-Co agreed to meet up. I had been worried that the 11.30am meeting time would have been too difficult for many, especially, those who, like me lived on the other end of the island (it turns out I was not the only late one). But we managed to spend a good 45 minutes over lunch, just chatting and getting to know one another, which I felt was the real reason why I got all of us to meet.

We then headed down at 12.30pm to the Church of St Mary of the Angels in Bukit Batok. The bus ride had been awkward, to say the least. I guess we were all bursting with silent excitement, yet were somehow able to keep ourselves from going crazy. But when we got off SBS service 174, I guess you could say that was when the fun began. We huddled noisely, glad that the rain had lightened up, and headed to the main church. I gave Gregory Loo, my Mass Officer, a quick rundown of the area - it was the first time he’d been to the parish, and soon, it was time for the program proper to start.

(Heading down to the San Damiano Friary always felt like a homecoming, somehow. It was originally built to house the Sisters from the Order of St Clare, but as they had not been given permission to start a chapter here, it was eventually turned into the living quarters of the Franciscan Friars. Before they moved in, however, there was one Vocation Weekend that I attended last year, and thus became one of the first to actually stay in the building.)

But anyway, I digress. The programme organised by the 14th Ex-Co began with an opening prayer and then we played several games and sang a couple of songs that were supposed to help us settle in. “Supposed”, being the keyword, of course. Having attended several CSA activities in the past couple of months, I dare say I’m feeling too old for some games. I mean, I turn 23 this year! We then participated in a “role-play” of sorts that tried to teach us the importance of living up to your responsibilities and commitments, because everyone’s actions do have repercussions on others.

After all that, we started to get down to the serious stuff (finally! I thought). It started with a sharing by Ria, followed by one from Dominic. By this time, Lisa was already so overwhelmed with emotion that she started tearing, and I guess that triggered me, because my eyes were wet by the time Dom had finished. And then it was time for my predecessor, Agustin, who shared about the struggles that her Ex-Co faced. As I looked around at my ex-co’s faces, it was hard to imagine what was going through their minds. I wasn’t sure if they knew the whole story about what happened behind the scenes, or even if they did, if they could empathise. Nonetheless, it was a welcome reminder that the journey as an Ex-Co isn’t easy.

The 15th Ex-Co was then prayed over by members of the 14th, and I received the vision of St Peter’s lack of faith, as told in the Gospel according to Saint Matthew (Chapter 14, Verses 22-34). How apt, I thought. Then the Lord spoke to me in the words of the song - “If you pass through raging waters, in the sea you shall not drown… Be not afraid”. Wow. Talk about being apt.

But that wasn’t enough convincing from the Lord, oh no… The prayer session was followed by a short address by Father Clifford Augustine, who is our chaplain and spiritual director. And then, we headed down to the church building for Mass. The Gospel Readings also came from Matthew (Chapter 16, Verses 13-20).

Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

And I knew that doing this - being a part of the 15th Ex-Co - was part of His Will.

There’s a new category for future posts on this blog. And they’re pertaining to my new role in the NTU Catholic Students’ Apostolate.

For the record, on 17th August 2005, at approximately 9pm, I was elected as President of the 15th Executive Committee of the NTU CSA. The remaining 10 committee members were also elected that same night.

From now on, I will be posting weekly updates on the status of the CSA and personal thoughts of the week gone past. They will all be categorised under “Fifteenth”.