The Gospel according to St John (Chapter 21, verses 15-19)

When they had eaten, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these others do?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Look after my sheep.” Then he said to him a third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that he asked him a third time, “Do you love me?” and said, “Lord, you know everything; you know I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.

In all truth I tell you,
when you were young
you put on your own belt
and walked where you liked;
but when you grow old
you will stretch out your hands,
and somebody else will put a belt round you
and take you where you would rather not go.”

In these words he indicated the kind of death by which Peter would give glory to God. After this he said, “Follow me.”

My exam results were released on Thursday afternoon, and they were arguably the worst results I have ever received. 2 Fs, 3 Es, and not even an A for Computing. I would have at least felt better with one more A. I got a B instead. The only thing I’m thankful for is that miraculous C for Dynamics which, ironically, was the one subject I was most convinced of failing.

Now I’m used to poor results, having survived the past decade or so on borderline grades, but a screw-up of this magnitude is sobering, to say the least. The prospect of having to do an average of 10 modules per semester next year is daunting and as it stands, I’ve considered dropping out of University altogether.

This, of course, led me to realise that I hadn’t planned to do anything for the next half a decade and was therefore absolutely unprepared mentally for a full-time job. I was lost, alone, afraid and dreading the future altogether. So you can imagine how comforting the above passage was, after hearing it at Mass on Friday evening. It was almost providencial to hear something like that in my distress.

The truth I have now come to realise is that the path I am about to take will be something I cannot handle on my own, but it is also the path that I, having placed my trust in His Wisdom and mercy, will have to walk, led by His love.