It’s really such a cool word when you think about it. We understand its meaning today as “a break”, a pause in whatever you’re doing with the understanding that you’ll get back to it some day. Soon, preferably.

The Latin origins of the word are even more impressive, in its simplicity. The root word is hiare, that is, to gape or yawn. Presumably, you take a hiatus, a short break, when you’re surprised, or in wonderment, or just plain tired.

This year so far has been one filled with surprises and wonders, many good, some really bad, and it has all left me truly tired about a lot of things. Of course, the irony is that this blog has taken an extended hiatus of almost two years now, and it is time I got back to it.

But just not yet. =)

That being said, I am currently involved in a project called HereBeGeeks.com, which feeds my passion for sharing Singaporean geek culture with the world. So find me there in the meantime, until I have a more specific use for this blog, my first love.

You hate yourself when you’re right about certain things. You don’t want to admit that you were not imagining things, that every hint you noticed was legitimate and all leading up to the truth. You saw it coming a mile away, but seeing it happen right in front of your face – now that’s rough.

And the irony is, up till that point, this was truly one of the best weekends in your drab life so far.

So many thoughts, so much emotion, and for what? You simply didn’t prepare yourself for this, even though there was sufficient time to. You always were a procrastinator.

You were always lousy at hiding things too, and when you walked away, no doubt your body language spoke volumes. A blind man could see how affected you were.

You should be happy. You should be relieved. You shouldn’t even be writing this.

Yet, this is what this blog was initially for. To scream till the pain is gone before cutting it out of your heart, dripping with the miasma of self-pity and useless jealosy.

They deserve each other.

I’ve been having a spate of strange, unrelated dreams recently, and I’m really curious what it all means. Is it my creativity going into overdrive? A portal into an alternate universe to see all the going-ons of my other selves? A result of watching dozens of episodes of Stargate Universe, Fringe and Sanctuary back to back? Who knows.

I don’t remember the previous ones, but the latest one hit a whole new level of strange.

I was part of a group of young people but I can’t remember why they got together. Maybe it was a camp or something. Whatever it was, I was hanging out with this girl (there’s ALWAYS a woman involved) and getting rather close. Next thing I know, it is discovered her father has passed away under mysterious circumstances and the police and the media suspect me.

I know, right? Strange things happen to alterna-Petes.

Well, I woke up before the story continued… but I’m now going to have to keep a notepad and pen with me. These dreams are priceless!

I never got around to writing a reflection of 2008, so I thought I’d go all retrospective as we get to the end of the first decade of the new millennium.

A journey of new discoveries…

In terms of discovering what I truly wanted to do, these past three years have epitomised it all.
In 2007, I stumbled upon the job I’d always dreamed of – technical writing. My experiences in those six months in Autodesk Asia continue to be the highlight of my working life in terms of the work I was expected to do and the skills which I picked up. It’s a pity, therefore, that I’m not exactly sure if it’s what I want to do for an extended period of time – since it seems to have limited career growth opportunities. That year was also the year I returned to CHOICE, after a chance meeting in Ngee Ann City, and I’m still getting involved in weekends when I can.
2008 saw me go back to basics – rediscovering and rediscerning my vocation to the priesthood. All my fears and inhibitions seemed to disappear that year, as I realised that I wanted to serve God and His people because I felt a deep love for them. However, that epiphany got put on hold permanently because I ended up falling hard for someone. It’s bittersweet in retrospect, because technically, she became the first person whom I dated exclusively. Although it ended almost as quickly as it had begun, I had reached a stage where I felt more confident about being with women, and just had a better sense of self-worth, which was necessary, as I ended up doing really badly in school that semester.
Which brings us to the crazy year that was 2009. I returned to my musical roots and got involved with Paul, an experience that allowed me to discover how much I truly loved performing, that I was capable of a comedic role, and that I could play a part in making the whole musical a more spiritual experience for the cast and crew. In the midst of the crazy rehearsals and frustrating schedules, I also fell in love, and spent the rest of the year learning first hand of the reality of relationships – which, naturally, were nothing like the dreamland ideals I had carried with me. Being in a relationship taught me so much, and became a point of determination for me, because though I seem to be back at the start of where I was in 2007, I know I’m definitely not the same.

I’m glad 2009 ended on the high note that was Camp Seven : Survivor.

Here’s to 2010! May God bless us all and be gracious to us!

This blog may be all but dead, but that’s no reason why I can’t direct newcomers to our parish’s youth blog!

YOUhf.wordpress.com

Click the link. Now! =)

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